


Come Raise the Dead

by queenannabethwinchester (orphan_account)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Happy Ending, Heaven, Language, M/M, Memories, Pining!Cas, Sad, but not really, pining!dean
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-20
Updated: 2013-11-20
Packaged: 2018-01-02 04:20:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,999
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1052440
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/queenannabethwinchester
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean doesn’t know why everything can’t be simpler. Why can’t they just win without losing something one time? Why do they always have to give up what they care about? He doesn’t understand and he doesn’t want to let it happen again. He’s going to get his angel back no matter what it takes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Come Raise the Dead

**Author's Note:**

> Title/Song: Raise the Dead - Rachel Rabin
> 
> Warnings: No smut in this one, sorry guys, there is language and quite a lot of angst. There is a happy ending, though.
> 
> If you want to see the fanart that served as my inspiration, you can look at these two. I would suggest looking at them after if you don't want to slightly spoil the story.
> 
> http://glaringstar.deviantart.com/art/Don-t-let-the-morning-take-him-193676757
> 
> http://vobobo.deviantart.com/art/Dean-Winchester-is-saved-356535743

Castiel took a deep breath as he pulled the blade out of the empty vessel’s chest. He staggered away and winced as pain radiated through the wound on his leg.

“Cas.”

He turned, watching as Dean plucked something off of the floor where Metatron dropped it. His breath caught in his throat as he reached out for it automatically. The hunter stared at him for a moment before holding out the chain. Castiel took it, holding it up to gaze at the vial dangling off the end. His grace was shining brightly, reacting to him holding it by swirling quicker and he felt his heart speed up.

“What do we do now?” Sam asked, looking between them.

“We need to get in contact with Bartholomew.” Dean said, staring straight at Castiel as he pulled the chain over his head and let the vial settle over his heart. “Make a deal with him that if Cas restores the angels, he stops hunting him.”

They looked at the former angel, waiting to receive his approval of the plan. He hesitated, his fingers fiddling with his grace. Finally he nodded once, swallowing hard.

\----------

Dean and Sam watched as he arranged the ingredients for the spell and began to toss them into the bowl one by one after drawing the chalk outline. After sparks exploded from the bowl, they all stared around expectantly.

“Well this is far more brave than I thought any of you could be.”

Bartholomew was standing by the door fixing his tie. He looked up at them with a serious expression, looking partly curious as to why he was standing in the motel room.

“We only brought you here to make a deal.” Dean said, stepping in front of Castiel as the other angel’s eyes fell on him.

“And what could you possibly have to offer me?” he questioned, raising an eyebrow at them.

“Your wings.” Sam said, stepping up as well.

Bartholomew regarded him suspiciously.

“It looks like you got rid of yours. Finally kicked Ezekiel out of that noggin of yours? How exactly do you plan to restore us? It’s already been spread around that the spell is impossible to reverse.” He said, anger in his voice.

“It was a lie. Metatron told us how to do it before Cas stabbed him in the chest.” Dean said, glaring at him.

“Shame. I would have liked to get my hands on that traitor.”

“Enough!” Castiel pushed through Dean and Sam and held up the vial around his neck. “I have the only means of restoring you and the other angels so give me one reason to change my mind and I’ll have you stuck on this earth for the rest of your very mortal life.”

Bartholomew shot him an annoyed look.

“What do you want in exchange?” he finally asked.

“Hands off policy for Cas.” Dean said.

“And Dean, Sam, and Kevin.” Castiel added on.

He glanced between them and sighed heavily.

“I suppose that is a fair trade, though the prophet rightfully belongs to us.” Bartholomew said, adjusting his collar.

“He doesn’t belong to anyone.” Sam argued, frustration evident in his voice.

He simply looked up at them with raised eyebrows.

“Do you take the deal or not?” Dean demanded.

Bartholomew looked at Castiel with squinting eyes, lifting his head slightly.

“I do.” He finally agreed.

The two hunters relaxed slightly but the former angel stepped forward and squinted at him.

“If you double cross us and go after them, I’ll kill you myself.” He threatened.

Bartholomew smirked at him.

“I’ll be waiting for you to hold up your end. Then I will instruct the others to hold up mine.” He said, turning to walk out the door. “I will see you soon, Castiel.”

Dean and Sam watched as he went but Cas turned away, his fingers fiddling with the vial.

“What did he mean? Why will he see you soon?” Sam asked.

“I do not know. But it cannot mean anything good. We should not let our guard down. He may still break the deal.” Castiel said.

“Does that mean we shouldn’t restore them?” Dean asked.

Castiel looked back at him, shaking his head.

“Now that Bartholomew knows we have the means, he’ll do whatever it takes to make it happen.” He said, pulling the chain off. “We have no choice.”

Dean and Sam exchanged a wary look, always hating to hear that they didn’t have a choice about anything.

“You should go outside.” Castiel said, glancing up at them. “I do not want you to be harmed.”

They hesitated before walking past him to go outside. Dean stopped at the door, turning back to face him.

“Hey Cas.” He said.

The dark-haired man turned back to look at him, looking distressed.

“Don’t take off, okay? We’re still here for you.” Dean assured him.

Castiel nodded slowly, watching as he shut the door. They kept their eyes on the window as they stood several feet away from the motel room. Sam glanced around to see if anyone was watching. Suddenly a bright light flooded out of the window and the door flew open with the force. They looked at each other with wide eyes as the light faded. Suddenly a crash sounded and they hurried into the motel room to see that Castiel was hunched over on the ground, a broken lamp beside him. He was clutching his head with a pained expression.

“Cas?” Dean fell to his knees next to him.

His eyes opened after a few moments and he looked up at him.

“I am fine, Dean.” Castiel sighed, looking shaken as he tried to push himself up onto his feet.

Dean helped him up, holding onto his arm.

“The sudden wave of communications overwhelmed me. All of the angels were restored at the same moment as me. They all began shouting about it over angel radio.” He said, calming his shaking his hands.

“You sure you’re all right?” Sam asked.

Castiel nodded, rubbing his forehead. Dean picked up a bottle of water and moved to hand it to him, momentarily forgetting that he wouldn’t need nourishment anymore. Cas reached for it anyway, taking it and unscrewing the cap. Suddenly he dropped it and water splashed everywhere, including on Dean’s jeans. He jumped away and looking up at him with surprise.

“What the…” his questioning changed to concern when he saw his wide, fearful eyes.

“What is it, Cas?” Sam asked, moving to stand in front of him.

Castiel looked up at them, swallowing hard as his hands gripped his knees.

“The angels are coming after me.”

It took several minutes for the information to sink in.

“No.” Dean said, shaking his head. “Bartholomew made a deal with us. He told us that he would stop hunting you.”

Castiel shook his head.

“They’re not coming after me to kill me. They’re after me to take me back up to heaven. They want to recondition me to be the angel I was before we met. They want to remove all traces of you from my life. They aren’t even trying to cover it up. The plan to do so was made just in case we were ever restored.”

“Take out your grace.” Dean said simply. “They won’t have any reason to take you back to heaven if you aren’t an angel.”

Castiel looked up at him with a weary expression.

“That would activate the spell again. The angels would all fall once more and they would come after all of us. They would tear us apart.” he said. “We’ll be hunted.”

He stood and tugged at his hair with frustration, a habit leftover from his time as a human.

“I thought… I was certain that it was over.” Cas sighed.

“We’ll fight ‘em off, Cas.” Dean said, sounding certain.

Castiel shook his head, reaching out to touch them. They suddenly felt like they were wrenched away from the spot they were standing. They could barely breathe until their feet were touching the ground again. They were standing inside of what looked like an abandoned foreclosed house. Furniture was scattered around them as well as various household items.

“I did not miss that.” Dean said, slightly pale as he pressed a hand to his stomach.

“We need to put up some Enochian sigils.” Sam said, looking to see that their bags had made the trip with them.

Outside, the Impala was sitting in the driveway of the house, proof that Cas both had his powers back and that he didn’t miss a thing.

“You can’t.” Castiel said, walking towards a chair and sitting it in.

They looked at him with questioning looks.

“Why not?” Dean asked.

“Because of what just happened, I’m giving off a sort of energy that will lead the angels right to us. The only way we’ll get even close to keeping them away is by putting up the strongest sigils. They’ll either weaken me or send me away from here altogether. Either way, it will be impossible to hide me from them.” he said, looking up at the brothers. “Also, there’s the fact that if you help hide me from them you’ll be hunted for the rest of your life.”

“That’s nothing new, Cas. We’ve been hunted for years and I think we’ve handled it fine.” Dean said, shrugging.

He shook his head.

“I refuse to draw that to you. It is unfair.”

Dean stared at him with a clenched jaw.

“I am not going to lose you again, Cas. Not to those dicks.”

Sam suddenly felt like he was intruding on an intimate moment as green eyes stared into blue.

“Please, man. You gotta fight this with us. You gotta stick around. I don’t care that you’ve got your powers back.” Dean tried to convince him.

Castiel looked lost, sighing heavily as he looked down at his hands.

“It is not that simple, Dean.” He said.

“The hell it’s not.” Dean fired back.

“I will only bring more misery and pain to your life. The angels believe that they are doing something right in restoring me to my former self. They believe that I will only destroy everything again if I am allowed to remain here as I am. They will not hesitate to destroy everything around me to get me to come with them.” Castiel said, standing up and facing him. “You must understand that I am not making this decision selfishly. I am trying to protect you and Sam and the only people that you have left in your lives.”

Dean shook his head.

“You don’t get to make that decision for me.” he growled.

“It will be the best decision I’ve made in a very long time.” Castiel replied, sounding weary. “You cannot prevent me from doing so.”

The hunter stared at him for a few moments.

“We can do research, Cas. We can try to figure this out.” Sam tried to join in the conversation.

“They’ll be here by morning. We don’t have time for any of that.” Castiel replied, his frustration dying down as he continued to stare at Dean. “Minor sigils can keep them away until then.”

Dean clenched his jaw and looked away.

“So we just have tonight, then?” he questioned, sounding bitter.

“Yes.” Castiel said quietly, sounding regretful and pained by the reality of the situation.

\----------

Castiel was following him as he walked into the living room. Sam was out in the only bedroom talking to Kevin to explain the situation. Dean dropped his bag onto the dusty, moth-eaten couch and sighed heavily, rubbing his forehead. Suddenly his stomach rumbled loudly, reminding him that he hadn’t eaten in a while. Moments later, he heard the sound of wings fluttering. Dean whirled around with panic filling him.

“Cas?” he called, looking out in the hallway.

His heart plummeted when he realized that the restored angel was gone. He paced the room, wondering what he would tell Sam when his brother found out that Cas was gone. After a long time spent walking around with clenched fists, Castiel suddenly reappeared in the room. Dean barely recognized that he was holding grocery bags before he charged towards him. He wasn’t entirely certain whether he was going to punch the angel or not. When he reached him, he yanked the bags away and threw them on the floor before pulling Cas into a tight hug.

“Don’t fucking do that.” he snapped, burying his face in the angel’s hair.

Castiel hesitated before wrapping his arms around his torso to rest on his back. He slowly pulled the hunter to the couch and sat down with him, pulling away to look at him.

“I apologize. I did not know that it would upset you. I know that you are hungry and I was only attempting to provide you with sustenance.” He said, sounding apologetic and ashamed.

Dean shook his head, his hand still fisted in Castiel’s shirt.

“Just… don’t leave again. Not tonight.” He said, attempting to get rid of the lump in his throat and the burning in his eyes.

Castiel nodded in agreement. Dean didn’t look satisfied, staring into his eyes.

“You gotta fight this, man. You gotta fight a hell of a lot harder than you are.”

He sighed and turned away, facing the wall.

“I will fight as long as it does not put you or Sam in danger. I could never forgive myself if yet another bad thing happened to the two of you.” Castiel explained.

Dean shook his head, reaching out to grasp his wrist.

“This is another bad thing. You’re family, Cas. Hell you’re practically a Winchester with how many times you’ve died, drank, and we even got you into flannel a couple times. Us losing you is another bad thing to happen to us. So tell me again that you leaving forever is going to be a good thing for anyone.” He challenged him.

Castiel didn’t say anything, staring straight forward as he fought the raging emotion within him. He thought that once he accepted his grace back into his vessel, they would diminish once again. But then again, he’d always known that his tie to humanity wasn’t whether he had his grace or not. It was the man sitting beside him. Dean seemed to sense that he wasn’t going to change his mind and he pulled away, shoving down the feelings of devastation and hurt.

“I’m gonna find you. I’m never gonna stop looking for you. I’ll go to my grave hunting those dicks down until I get you back.” he promised.

Castiel’s face screwed up with emotions as he looked over at Dean.

“I wish that you would not do that. All I want is for you to be safe.” He sighed. “Dean, I will never forget our time together.”

Dean frowned, shaking his head and clenching his jaw.

“Our time together.” He said. “It should have been better. I should have tried harder to make it better. I should have made your time as a human the greatest thing so that you wouldn’t have any doubt which species of us is better.”

Castiel smiled sadly.

“I already know which species is better and it’s certainly not mine.” He agreed. “You need to stop regretting things. There’s nothing to change about it now so dwelling on it is simply another weight on your shoulders that you do not need.”

Dean looked up at him and swallowed hard, fighting his emotions as much as the angel was.

“You taught me very much, Dean Winchester. I am very thankful for everything that I learned from you. I did not know the true meaning of family, love, and sacrifice before I met you.” Cas said appreciatively.

He sighed and looked into the blue eyes, realizing that it felt like he’d known him for eternity when really it had been only a few years.

“Thank you.” Dean replied. “For everything you did, raising me, taking Sammy out of the cage, saving us countless times.”

He hesitated, considering his next words.

“I’m sorry for all the times we couldn’t be there to help you as much as you helped us. We should have… I should have known that you needed help.”

Castiel stared at him for a few moments.

“Do you know what my greatest achievement ever was?” he questioned.

Dean shrugged, shaking his head.

“Lasting for so long without stabbing Zachariah in the chest?”

He let out a chuckle and shook his head.

“Pulling you out of the fires of hell. I will never forget the day that I raised you. It impacted me most profoundly.” Castiel admitted, looking up at him. “You are the best man that I have ever known and it is an honor to know that I am part of the reason that you are still breathing.”

Dean’s eyes reflected several emotions as he took a deep breath.

“Dammit.” He cursed, turning away and rubbing his jaw with frustration. “I fucking hate goodbyes.”

Castiel’s head tilted to the side and he hesitantly reached out, touching his shoulder exactly where his handprint formed on the skin so long ago.

“I will not give up, Dean.” He vowed. “Every day I will fight to get back to you.”

Dean looked over at him with surprise. They both knew the weight that his words held because they both knew they were futile. When the angels wanted to keep someone locked up, they were locked up. His eyes eventually looked away, catching sight of the grocery bags.

“What did you get me?” he asked, reaching out to snag one.

He peeked through it and smiled slightly.

“You got all my favorites.”

“I like to think that I know you well.” Castiel replied, sounding slightly proud of himself.

Dean pulled out a beer and twisted the cap off, holding it out to him. Castiel shook his head, surprised by his sudden distaste for human food once more.

“Are you scared?” Dean questioned before he lifted the bottle to his lips.

Cas shrugged, looking down at his hands.

“It’s nothing that I haven’t been through before, I suppose. I’ve survived it before and I’ll do it again. Besides, they obviously have need of me so they wouldn’t damage me too much and I think that maybe the process could take long enough that I could get a message out to an angel who doesn’t hate me so that I can…”

“Cas.” Dean interrupted him.

His words were hurried, running together as he spoke. Castiel glanced up at him, taking a shuddering breath.

“I’m terrified.” He said in a quiet voice.

The fear reflecting in his eyes caused Dean’s heart to drop and he put his beer down on the rickety coffee table.

“I won’t let them take you, Cas. I’ll fight as hard as I can for you.” he said desperately.

Castiel’s eyes turned mournful and his mouth turned down as he gazed at him sadly.

“Stop looking at me like that.” Dean snapped. “Stop looking at me like you’ve already given up. I will do whatever it takes to show you that we can fight this. Hell they can’t have more power than we’ve faced, right? We’ve defeated Lucifer and Michael and Leviathans. These assholes’ll be no problem.”

Castiel stood, walking across the creaking floorboards as he ran his fingers through his hair and chewed on his lower lip, more human habits that he hadn’t let go of yet. Dean watched him for a moment before standing as well, seizing his shoulder. Cas prepared himself for another lecture on how he couldn’t give up. Instead Dean yanked him in and their lips clashed together. The angel inhaled sharply, taking by surprise before he responded. He pushed Dean back into the wall, gripping his shirt as Dean’s fingers dug into his back. It was messy and desperate, teeth knocking together and haggard breaths escaping from their mouths but they didn’t care.

When Dean broke away from him, he buried his face in his hair and just breathed. Castiel held him close, his eyes squeezing shut as he slid his arms around him.

“I won’t let them take you from me.” he whispered, shaking his head slightly. “They don’t get to take you from me.”

Castiel swallowed hard against the lump in his throat but he couldn’t help the lonely tear that slid down his cheek.

“We need to put up the Enochian sigils on the wall that will keep them out for the night.” He said in a rough voice.

Dean nodded and pulled away, turning to his back and pulling out two thick black sharpies. They both began scribbling out the symbols on the wall, facing away from each other as they did so. As soon as Castiel finished, he was suddenly yanked back to the couch. Moments later, they were entangled in each other’s arms. Cas was leaning back against the arm of the couch with his legs drawn up onto the couch and Dean was wrapped around him as much as he could be, his head laying on his chest.

“Please don’t leave me.” Cas heard the hunter whisper.

He leaned his head back and fought the urge to cry, clenching his jaw.

“My life was a long one.” He said, trying to distract himself. “I remember my creation, looking out at the expanse of heaven and learning about everything. I was a quiet fledgling, always paying attention as I learned.”

Dean didn’t move or respond, content to simply hear him talk.

“When I was finally trained as a soldier, I resented it slightly. I knew that it was what I was meant to do as a seraph but it was not ideal for me. I would have much rather spent time in the large libraries of heaven or in the deep meadows of the forest and the golden wheat of the fields. I excelled at my training, though. They all commended me, told me that I would be a great leader one day. I was put in charge of my garrison and they said that I deserved it, that I had a duty to fulfill. I put aside my dreams of peace and devoted myself to learning of war and battle. Hundreds of years later, we are finally told of our purpose. We are told that we must lay siege to hell.”

Dean looked up at him, his eyes wide. Castiel glanced down, a hint of something Dean couldn’t quite identify in his eyes.

“We are told that we are looking for one soul. One righteous soul who was put in hell unjustly. We did as we were told even though every fiber of our beings told us that hell was no place for angels. I heard your soul long before I ever saw you. When I found you, you didn’t know it but you were screaming for someone to save you.”

The hunter took a deep breath, settling back so that his head was lying on Castiel’s shoulder. He didn’t care how this looked. He didn’t care if Sam walked in and saw him practically cuddling with the angel. He just didn’t care about anything but being as close as he could to Cas.

“I wish I could remember.” He admitted. “I wish that I could know what it was like to see you coming in to pull me out.”

Castiel looked down at him with a furrowed brow.

“You really feel that way?” he questioned.

Dean hummed in the affirmative, tracing circles onto Castiel’s pants.

“The one good thing to happen to me in that fucked up place and I can’t even remember it. I remember all the bad stuff, I’ll always remember that. But I don’t remember you.”

Castiel considered his words for a moment.

“I can show you.” he offered.

Dean frowned with confusion.

“What do you mean?”

“I cannot show you how you would have seen it but I can show you how I saw it. I can show you my experience in raising you from the pit.” Castiel said.

He hesitated for a moment, thinking it over.

“That would be… great.” He said, glancing up at him. “I don’t want to see myself, though. I mean, when I’m… when you found me. I don’t want to see what I turned into.”

Castiel tilted his head to the side.

“That won’t be much of a problem.” He assured him.

Dean nodded, turning back to lean against him and closing his eyes. Castiel reached up towards his head but stopped, hesitating as his eyes darted down. Slowly, he reached down and entwined his fingers with Dean’s. The hunter froze for a moment but relaxed soon after, squeezing his hand reassuringly. Castiel let out a small sigh before closing his own eyes and reaching out towards Dean’s mind. As soon as he found it Dean recoiled, his body shuddering as his mind tried to fight it.

“It’s all right, Dean.” He murmured, reaching up automatically and stroking his hair. “I won’t hurt you.”

His words seemed to soothe the hunter, causing his mind to relax and open up to him. Suddenly images flooded into both of their minds.

_Dean gasped as he watched Castiel fighting his way through hell, ignoring the cries of his brothers and sisters with one focus, getting to the righteous man. He cut down demons and hellhounds, surging forward with purpose. As he grew nearer to his destination, his body grew weaker but his resolve grew stronger. He would do this to fulfill his Father’s will. The next images to appear were Castiel ascending from the pit, beating his wings as hard as he could as he held the soul in his hands, reforming it back to what it was before hell influenced it._

_His hand seared a mark onto the soul and Dean twitched in his arms, feeling a tingling in his shoulder. All the while, Castiel was shouting out his triumph to anyone who would listen. Dean Winchester was saved and he wanted everyone to know it. The thoughts suddenly changed and Castiel was looking down, watching a field as Dean’s newly formed body fought its way out of a grave. He followed him all the way to the gas station and when he tried to speak to him to tell him that he was the reason Dean was alive, frustration built in him as the hunter did not understand him. Dean clenched down on his hand as he felt the complete euphoria as Castiel flooded into Jimmy Novak’s body._

_He felt the weight on his shoulders as he extended his wings out for the first time in a vessel’s body. He felt the call, tugging him to a spot not far from there. He followed it eagerly, finally feeling like he was going to fulfill his Father’s wishes to tell the righteous man all that was in store for him. When he landed outside of the barn and pushed the doors open with the strength of his mind, he ignored the sparks showering down on him. His eyes were focused forward, not leaving the man that he restored with his own hands. As he turned to face him, he suddenly knew how his father felt all those years ago. Looking Dean Winchester in the eyes that he made even greener and seeing the constellations in freckles formed across his skin that he ensured remained exactly the same, he felt pride._

_This was his creation, this was his work. Dean was standing before him because he laid siege to hell and he pulled him out. He was responsible for the being breathing in front of him and he felt that responsibility setting on his shoulders in a weight heavier than his wings ever could be. The idea that angels existed as guardians had always been a naïve thought but in that moment, Castiel knew that he would possibly be the first angel to conform to the human idea because he felt that he had to protect his charge, the soul bearing his mark, the hunter standing before him. He knew that the task would prove more difficult when the man shoved a dagger into his heart but it did not dissuade him from his course. Castiel knew that his life had just changed and he felt a sense of exhilaration as he wondered what Dean Winchester would bring him._

Dean gasped when his eyes flew open and he sat up, facing Cas who was watching him warily.

“You-you really did think that saving me from hell was your greatest achievement.” He breathed.

Castiel stared at him for a moment before nodding slowly.

“It’s the only good thing that I’ve done, the only thing that I haven’t messed up.” He said.

Dean leaned in, pressing their lips together softly. His hand slid into Castiel’s hair. Cas leaned in, his hand sliding around Dean’s neck and his mouth opening slightly. As they deepened the kiss, they both trembled with their emotions and finally the hunter broke away. His eyes were shining with tears as he looked up at him.

“You have to promise me that you’ll fight.” He pleaded.

Castiel looked heartbroken for a moment.

“I’ll do what I can as long as it does not put you in danger.” He acceded.

Dean didn’t look satisfied by his answer.

“I can handle myself, Cas. You just take care of yourself.” He demanded.

Castiel simply leaned in, kissing him again rather than responding to him. Dean allowed it, melting in his arms as he suddenly felt exhaustion overtaking him. He wanted to fight against it but suddenly he was lying back against Castiel, his head on his chest. The angel was running his fingers through his hair and whispering Enochian words that Dean did not understand. His eyes fluttered closed and he felt himself fading into darkness as he clutched to the angel who rescued him from hell.

\----------

Castiel did not look up as the sun began streaming through the windows. He did not react when the Enochian sigils faded away. He did not move when the angels appeared in the room.

“It’s time, Castiel.” Bartholomew said.

He looked up at them, unconsciously drawing the sleeping hunter closer to him.

“I want your assurance that the Winchesters will not be touched.” He said carefully.

The other angel squinted at him.

“If you come with us willingly, we will not harm them.” he agreed.

“No, not just now. Never again in their lives will an angel go anywhere near them. They will not be harmed.” Castiel demanded.

Bartholomew sighed and rolled his eyes.

“Yes, all right. Your humans…” he spat out the last word with disgust. “… will live out a full life free of angels. Including you.”

Castiel looked down at Dean and carefully shifted him over, lying him back on the couch as he stood. He bent over him, his hand falling to his left shoulder and touching it lightly as his lips pressed to his forehead.

“Goodbye, Dean.” He whispered.

\----------

Dean jerked awake, his limbs flailing as he sat up and stared around. Something was missing and he couldn’t place it. There was an aching feeling in his heart that he could not control. Then he realized what it was.

“No, no no…” he breathed, his heart plummeting as he stared around desperately. “Cas… Cas!”

He yelled his name over and over again, desperate to see him show up and say hello. Nothing happened. When Dean heard footsteps, he whirled around only to see Sam run into the room looking like he’d just woken up.

“Dean? What’s going on?”

He looked up at him with burning eyes and his throat tightening.

“Cas… he’s gone.” He choked out, seizing the beer bottle from the night before.

Sam watched with shock as Dean threw it at the wall and let out a cross between a roar of fury and cry of devastation. The older brother collapsed on his knees and buried his head in his hands as the younger brother crossed the room and hesitantly put his hand on his shoulder.

“He told me… he said he would fight.” Dean gasped out, looking up at him with tears sliding down his face.

Sam noticed something, reaching down to pick up the lone feather that was lying on the couch. He held it out to Dean.

“He fought for you.” He said simply.

Dean stared down at the light object, his fingers running over the feather.

“I’ll find him, Sammy.” He said, his voice rough with emotion. “I swear even if it kills me, I’ll find him.”

Sam squeezed his shoulder, nodding.

“I’ll help.” He said.

\----------

**Years Later**

The day that the Winchester brothers died, the world did not notice. They did not mourn for the men who saved so many lives and died within minutes of each other. They did not give a tribute to the children who lost their childhood to monsters and a father devoted to revenge. They did not weep for the men who lost their life’s loves to demons and angels. They did not see the black car rusting in the middle of the woods at a cabin that wouldn’t be found for years. They did not understand that they existed because two boys with nothing else decided that it was their job to save the world.

Heaven knew. The souls all celebrated, the ones that were saved by the selfless acts of the hunters and the ones who’d simply watched as they went through life helping others. Their family waited impatiently for them to appear, wanting so badly to hug the ones they’d left long ago. The angels prepared, knowing that the Winchesters were not done. They waited for the inevitable. It didn’t take long. Dean and Sam showed up at the gates of heaven moments after they took their last breaths. They didn’t even hesitate, letting the brothers into heaven and into the presence of their family.

The eldest was patient, accepting hug after hug from his friends and family. Crying when he saw his mother and simply nodding at his father. All the while he was waiting, planning. When he saw his brother holding a tall young woman with long blonde curls, he knew that he could not drag Sam along with him. This time, he had to leave his brother with the girl in the Smurfs shirt. He could do this alone because he knew that at the end of the battle was one of two things that kept him from putting the barrel of his gun to his temple. Sam was happy now, he was home. Now Dean had to bring the other part of his heart home and he would be whole too.

When he walked out of the building and ended up in the forest, he began walking around the trees. Others were calling after him, trying to stop him. When he hit the barrier, he stared around with confusion. He tried walking in another direction and hit another barrier. A noise of frustration and anger escaped from his mouth as he ran in another direction, then another and another, each time hitting an invisible wall. A wail escaped from his mouth as he began unleashing his fury onto the barrier, punching and kicking it as hard as he could. Suddenly he was pulled away and he collapsed to the ground, his eyes blurring with burning tears. Arms wrapped around him and he buried his head into long blonde hair. He allowed himself to be comforted by his mother as his heart broke once more for the hope he’d lost yet again.

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Dean didn’t know how to keep track of time where they were. He didn’t bother to try. He sat in a corner of the house where everyone was watching outside, waiting for the barrier to disappear. He’d set up tree branches against it all over the place, watching for one of them to fall onto the other side. It didn’t happen. Sometimes he allowed himself to enjoy the company of his family, eating and celebrating their reunion together. Everyone always looked at him with sadness in their eyes, all of them knowing that he felt empty inside with a longing for another seat at the table, a hand to hold, a mouth to kiss, an angel to stay with him. One day everything changed. He was walking around the barrier when he heard a startlingly familiar voice.

“You are never going to give up, are you?”

Dean whirled around and his eyes widened when he saw the angel standing before him.

“You’re supposed to be dead.” He accused him.

“If I could count how many times I’ve heard that.” Gabriel said, smirking at him.

“Let me out of here.” Dean said, gesturing to the barrier.

The archangel considered his words for a moment before shaking his head.

“This was the condition. The other angels agreed to let you in here unharmed so long as you were kept in your little corner of heaven. We couldn’t have you slicing and dicing your way through like you did in purgatory.” Gabriel said simply.

Dean seethed, glaring at him.

“Oh don’t look at me like that, it wasn’t my idea. Though I did implement it, being the strongest thing here in heaven. That is why the angels listen to me. They’re afraid of me. Even that little prick, Bartholomew. Let me tell you, that guy is the worst of us. I would even take Uriel over him… you know, if he was alive.” Gabriel shrugged carelessly.

“You’re in charge?” Dean questioned.

“Yep!”

“And you’ve let them do this to Cas? You let them take him and…”

“Who slow down, big boy. I didn’t let them do anything. Castiel is safe and sound and full of memories of his time on earth with Dean princess-eyes Winchester.”

Dean frowned at him.

“Cas remembers me?” he asked.

“Yeah and he never really stops moping over you. Thanks for that. He is miserable. You know these angels, throwing out ultimatums all over the place. They only agreed to stop trying to reform Cas if he stayed away from you while you were on earth and once you got to heaven. I know, it’s a shitty thing to do. I mean, I thought Sam was a bad cockblock for you two but that is nothing compare to these dicks up here.”

Dean looked down at his feet.

“So I can’t see him again.” He nodded.

“Oh stop feeling sorry for yourself.” Gabriel said, rolling his eyes.

Dean glared up at him, his annoyance rising as it always did around the trickster angel.

“Their ultimatum extended to while you were on earth and after you got to heaven. They said nothing about what happens if you were to… leave heaven.” He shrugged.

Dean frowned with confusion.

“What does that mean?”

“Okay listen I am tired of seeing the two most depressed beings in heaven mope around. This place is supposed to be happy! You’re destroying the happiness and I won’t have it. So there is some place that you can take your depressed ass to. It’s kind of a messed up place, all kinds of shady stuff going on. I call it my playground but you may know it as earth. I don’t know, it’s up to you. But there are monsters being created all the time, witches casting spells, demons are back to making deals. Thanks for putting Crowley back in charge, by the way.”

Dean shot him a look.

“It was him or Abaddon. Frankly I thought I’d choose the lesser of two evils especially since Crowley owed us big time for not killing his ass.”

Gabriel shook his head.

“That is an argument for another day. But for now, I’m taking you out of here. Say goodbye to the family, Dean. You won’t see them for a while. Or I guess you will… there’s a few things I can hook up and access to this part of heaven is one of them. So you can pop in and out whenever you want. Just please for the love of my father, go!”

He snapped his fingers and suddenly Dean felt his world going black as he collapsed to the ground.

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His first thought when he woke up was that it had all been a lie, a vision that Alastair gave him to torture him. Seeing the top of the pine box for the second time in his life wasn’t ideal. Dean flicked on his lighter and took a deep breath, readying himself to dig out of a grave once again. As he pushed up through the dirt, his lungs protested against the lack of air and he tried to keep as much dirt out of his nose and mouth as possible. His hands were bleeding profusely from breaking open the coffin. When they finally breached the surface and he felt a cool breeze, he scrambled to push himself up. Suddenly a hand slid into his, gripping it tight as he was pulled up by a strength that he couldn’t even come close to matching. Dean kicked with his feet, refusing to let himself hope that his helper was who he thought it was.

When his head breached the surface, he took a deep breath of air, spitting dirt out as the being pulled his body the rest of the way out. Dean collapsed to the ground, gasping for air and trembling with the effort of digging himself out of his grave. Suddenly he was pulled backwards into familiar trenchcoat-wearing being and the lip of a bottle was held to his lips. Dean drank the cool water eagerly, uncaring that it was dribbling down his throat onto the clothes that he was wearing. When his eyes finally open, the figure’s face swam before his vision cleared and he saw a pair of bright blue eyes staring down at him.

“Hello, Dean.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! Let me know what you think!


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